i fear that my life is now run by fear itself. every action i take seems to bear with it a multitude of consequences which seem ever so crippling. i hate to be the pessimist and i do see the opportunities behind every choice i make but i can't afford to lose these things which are so precious to me right now. and yet its this very fear that makes me question the value of these things which i claim i hold dear.
why do i not feel the confidence i used to when i think of the things i do for the goals that i've set? where has my life and spirit gone? it seems i've lost all motivation and nothing drives me anymore.
but there is one fear that is greater than the rest. one final fear that is strong enough to drive me to disregard the others. i must be blunt at this juncture. and what i say may cause rammifications which i am prepared to accept. i fear much in my life now, but the greatest fear i feel i cannot bear..
..is the fear of losing you.
Alfred
p.s. tell 'sharon' that this letter is rather close to the present reality.
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